Are you thinking about changing some of your life’s patterns into more supportive ones?
Do you find yourself not making any noticeable progress?
Don’t know if you can do it? The problem may be that you are just thinking about it, you keep playing around with it in your mind and not taking action.
Key to transformation is to believe you can make changes to your life, and with belief comes a can-do attitude.
Here is the truth: It may be that deep down you believe you CAN’T do it. Deep down you may believe that you are not worth the change you want to make.
These beliefs may take time to connect with. The feeling of not feeling good enough does take various different expressions through our lives.
One expression of not believing that you are worthy of the life you desire is to put off self care, and ignoring your true needs of self love.
The hallmark of it all is the building up of inner frustration, generating more negative thoughts about your ability to act. Others may not believe that you can do it either based on a previous pattern of inaction.
Want to get rid of the frustration and connect with your inner critic?
The inner chatter from your inner critic is ever present, it speaks to you every day and you may listen a bit too much. You’re hesitating. You’re procrastinating. You feel stuck.
The can-do attitude is taking a back seat.
Here are some examples of what my inner critic has been telling me recently:
- You need to wait until…
- You need to know exactly how to…
- I need to research some more to…
- Go with a true and tried method first before you…
- Don’t do it now, maybe later…
- I can’t because…
How do you change your beliefs that feel so real to you?
You start with listening.
So, what is your your inner critic telling you? You may not know. You may automatically believe that what you’re telling yourself is the truth.
The fact that our inner conversation is not the truth is a tricky one to grasp, because if you’ve never thought that there would be another way of relating to your experience as a human, it may feel like it’s the truth.
If you’re up for it, let’s make a little experiment to enlighten your can-do attitude!
Think of something you have been wanting to do but have not yet started.
Now, think about it and say out loud to complete the sentence:
- I know enough to take the first step to…
- I’ll start and see what I can learn by doing…
- I am good enough to…
- I can take the first step today and I will…
How does it feel to say these sentences?
Did you feel a little spark? A little speck of hope, just by saying it out loud?
What if you could start a daily practice of completing these positive sentences out loud every day bringing in your can-do attitude?
The secret to personal growth and a thriving CAN-DO attitude lies in mindfully shifting the inner conversation.
Your inner conversation is fueled by your beliefs about yourself and your environment (and the people in it) that has been formed over your lifetime.
But where do these beliefs come from?
All of us have experiences in life that are important to each individual. You can recall the feeling of these important experiences as if they were happening today. These experiences are either positively or negatively charged.
Take note of the negatively charged experiences where you felt you had to protect yourself from feeling unsafe or threatened or felt you needed to protect someone else.
These situations were often where your beliefs about your own limitations were formed. Your inner critic has been reminding you about those thoughts of limitation since, and you may not be aware of it.
We walk around protecting ourselves from feeling inadequate until we discover that it may not be relevant to our lives today.
How can You transform your “I can’t do” to “I CAN-DO”?
So to help you along towards a shift from I Can’t to I CAN you’ll need to begin to shift your inner conversation to focus on what you CAN do today vs. what you can’t do.
It’s quite simple.
If you believe you can’t do something, you won’t. If you believe you can do something, you will.
Here are 3 key tips to get you started today:
1) ALL personal growth starts with willingness to grow…
The human race evolved at large because of both our curiosity AND the willingness to grow and progress. Both curiosity AND willingness needs to be present, otherwise no evolution or personal growth.
You’d think being willing should be easy since humans can make decisions and are not just acting on instinct like animals do.
So let’s get totally honest with yourself, are you willing to grow?
What would it take for you to make a decision and get 1) curious about what the opportunity is for you and 2) 100% willing at the SAME time?
The curiosity is giving you the power to DREAM, while the willingness to grow is giving you the power to ACT.
So, get down to it today! Let’s consider this question: What would it cost you if you didn’t make this decision today? The answer becomes almost obvious.
2) It’s how we BE, not how we DO.
You may think that the best way to show yourself that you can do something is to actually do it. It’s true, but it’s by far not the most important aspect.
If you are serious about going from I can’t to I can, make it easy for yourself. Jumping right into the doing will not lead you down the easiest path.
First, you have to decide who you’d want to BE while doing it.
Hmmm… Who do you want to be? What does that mean?
Would you want to be the person who’s putting the blinders on and just doing it at all cost, or do you want to be the person who’s cruising right towards the prize while having a wide open perspective?
Yes, I thought so.
You’d want to go easy on yourself.
So, you can eliminate the struggle to get where you want to be by creating an image of who do you want to be while doing it.
My suggestion is to spend 5 minutes in meditation or daydreaming and imagine you being that person who’s cruising. Ask yourself:
- What are some of your natural qualities and strengths that you’re bringing forward to support you?
- Where are you? With whom? What’s your ideal environment?
- Who are you being while accessing that feeling of ease?
- Describe your ideal scenario. What would be your preferred way of taking care of yourself?
- Write it down. See yourself doing it. Draw pictures. Describe the feelings. Feel the feelings.
By doing this exercise you’re remembering your true self and what you truly need.
Your can-do attitude is getting stronger by the minute! Keep going!
3) Consistency will keep you from the start and stop.
Now, it’s time to take action and stay consistent. The first question you’d ask yourself is. “What do I need to put in place for myself so that I can stay consistent?”
This is the most important step.
While it’s heroic for some to step into action mode from having played with a desire in the mind for a long time, without following through long term, you’re not going to see any results.
Here are 4 simple tools that I am consistently using to boost my CAN-DO attitude to get me into daily action and stay consistent with my self care.
- Meditation (goes without saying). Meditation is the ultimate tool for connection with your higher self and tuning into what you truly need without judgement.
- Start an intentional morning routine to increase your self care. I incorporate meditation, journaling, yoga and intention setting into my morning routine to infuse focus, curiosity and center myself for the day.
- Card decks with affirmations are great! I use card decks to keep me inspired throughout the day. When I feel I need a little boost I pick a card and I reflect on what the message is and what it means to me.
- “One-day-at-a-time” commitment. Anything can feel overwhelming if we set the goal to do it forever. How about committing to it today only? And then tomorrow you commit again. And again. You can choose again.
So, start taking action today. Bring it on!
Start with some of the steps above that feels right for you, and commit to the vision of your CAN-DO attitude of taking action.
If you want support, guidance and a partner to get you started? Schedule a 30-min free session with me here.
What is your truth? How can you transform your I can’t to I CAN-DO?
Personal Development Tips: How to Kickstart Change Without Major Life Event.