How do you manage stress at work? Are you overwhelmed?
Do you work in a toxic work environment and feel you have to tiptoe around certain people?
You are not alone! When you’re trying to manage stress at work, it’s easy to get drained and to feel alone, thinking that we’re the only ones managing the art of collaboration and getting along.
Using these five spiritual tips can help you see people in a different light and help you manage stress at work.
Want to shift your work experience from a toxic one to one of love? Don’t wait take action NOW!
Early in my career I was totally focused on what had to be done every day. I was focused on the task more so than nurturing deep relationships with other people. My work day was perfectly planned out and there was no room for error.
I went on with my work mission always under constant pressure to succeed.
For the longest time, I was also a people pleaser, which caused me to feel overwhelmed all the time. I wanted to please others to show that I was capable to excel in my job.
It is a very common strategy amongst busy women to manage stress at work by taking on other people’s agendas and advice, and sometimes even agreeing to solutions when you don’t agree, because it’s easier…
But it’s at a cost.
In my own experience, I didn’t have the self awareness to go with the opinion of my true self.
Instead I sometimes hid behind someone else’s agenda or decision.
In hindsight, I realized that I was feeling overwhelmed at work because I was compromising my true self. I was going along with my ego voice, the voice of people pleasing, and not my true self voice.
This held me back from advancement and true success.
You may often hear this in your work place: “It’s her fault that I feel so overwhelmed, she is so rude and that makes this work environment toxic!”.
This comment is an example of someone who’s in their ego, going right to blame someone else for a situation, instead of wondering how they themselves contributed it.
So many people with huge egos have crossed my path. Because I personally had to learn to not play into the situation and to detach from it.
Through those experiences I was given an opportunity to reflect on how my own ego plays out.
By witnessing others with their ego in full force taught me how I don’t want to show up.
One of my favorite spiritual teachers, Dr. Wayne Dyer said: “Become aware there are no accidents in our intelligent universe. Realize that everything that shows up in your life has something to teach you. Appreciate everyone and everything in your life“.
Who in your life is leading with their ego? What can you learn from them?
When I started to believe that people show up in my life to teach me something, my focus completely changed. When I started to tap into spiritual principles and applying them to my own personal life, it didn’t take long until I also applied them at work with amazing results.
The difference for me was in how I experienced my work day, not that people changed, but I had completely turned around the way I perceived my experience at work.
You also can change your perception of your work situation.
Want to find out if you’re a people pleaser? Download the workbook and continue read below.
When you interact with others at work, do you:
- feel like you are compromising your inner confidence and desires to satisfy someone else’s opinion?
- have to carefully select your words to make sure they are coming out ‘right’?
- want a positive reaction from the person you are talking to?
- feel like you give more energy out than receive?
- feel resistance to saying no?
If you answer yes to any of the above you may want to consider this next exercise:
Bring out a piece of paper and write down your answers.
- What drives your people pleasing behavior?
- What does this behavior of people pleasing cost you in terms of personal satisfaction and fulfillment?
- In what relationships do you feel you are people pleasing the most? Why?
- What are you really telling yourself on the inside in those situations?
This may be difficult to pinpoint, but the more you start observing your own behavior the more you’ll learn about yourself.
With a growing focus on observing yourself and your inner thoughts you’ll grow your own awareness and opportunity to make a change and manage stress at work in a better way.
How do you know you’re no longer people pleasing?
Look for this:
- In interactions with others you’ll start to feel that it’s your true self that is speaking, not what you think other’s want to hear.
- Being able to handle a “No” without feeling guilty.
- Keeping your energy to you instead of giving it away.
- Gaining self awareness, confidence and balance in your life and career.
But you may ask “If I change my perception but other’s don’t change, what do I do?”
Sometimes people you interact with in your life are no longer for you.
This is an insight that you’ll have to make a choice what to do with. Being in a job that no longer serves you, could be adding to your perception of how you manage stress at work.
Could it be that the work place you’re currently in is no longer for you?
Is it worth having people around that drains you? Would it be worth to stop people pleasing in order to fully express your true self?
If you stay with me here you’ll learn about five very important spiritual tips that can help you immensely.
Let’s move on to another important aspect of how to manage stress at work.
The desire for praise.
Why do we crave praise from others to feel good about ourselves?
If you crave for someone else to tell you that you did a great job, it’s a desire to get acknowledged for your self worth through praise. This is going to be a sensation of satisfaction in the moment, but as soon as that feeling of praise is gone, it’s gone.
The feeling of overwhelm and emptiness will soon return and you’ll be looking for praise once again.
On the other hand, a person who has self compassion doesn’t actively seek praise. They’re happy and surprised when praise shows up, but it’s not a must for their inner satisfaction and calm.
If you align with the spiritual principle “You are already perfect” you can develop self compassion and receive praise easily without feeling any different. That feeling of being permanently content with who you are, because you have that inner knowing and belief that you are already perfect.
So, how can you start managing stress at work by practicing praising yourself, instead of constantly seeking validation and praise from others?
Here are 5 tips that are based on powerful spiritual principles for you to consider to manage stress at work, stop people pleasing and stop looking for praise:
Tip 1: Set your own Boundaries.
This would be applicable to relationships both at work and at home. Simply reflect on what you DO accept and what you DON’T accept in your relationships?
- Bring out a blank sheet of paper.
- Close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths.
- Open your eyes and let your pen flow with no editing.
- Write down what your boundaries truly are (I accept ….. I don’t accept……) and so on until you feel done.
- Then look at the paper and identify in what situation these boundaries are to be applied (work, home, etc.) irrespective of who you are speaking with.
- Mark each sentence with work, home etc. and start applying the boundaries.
- Please note: Your boundaries shouldn’t change depending on who you’re talking with! If they are your boundaries, they apply to everyone.
Tip 2: Self-awareness is your Truth.
What are you telling yourself in situations when you people please, or find your work or home environment toxic?
- Take a moment to identify 3 statements that you tell yourself when you people please? Write down exactly what you tell yourself. No editing. Just the truth.
- Reframe each of these statements to a new sentence that would be more supportive for you. (ie. What would you like to tell yourself instead). If you haven’t started this life changing practice, it’s never too late.
- Gratitude work is key here. Be thankful for the opportunity to become aware of what you’re telling yourself.
Tip 3: You Decide When to React.
Believing that others have their path and you have yours. (ie. everyone have their reasons for behaving the way they do.) You don’t have to react to their opinion or a rude comment. It’s a choice you make to react or not.
- Today, do your best to see people in a new light, see the person that annoys the heck out of you at work as if it was the first time you ever interacted with that person.
- Even if they are acting rude, be curious to learn about what the person is going through.
Tip 4: Keep your Energy to You.
One of the most important tips in how to manage your stress at work is to decide to keep your energy to yourself, instead of giving it all away.
- You can decide to not to give your energy away to someone you don’t want to share your energy with.
- For example, by reacting and aligning with someone’s frustration, you’re giving your energy away.
- Experiment with keeping your energy next time you feel overwhelmed in a conversation with someone at work.
- The simple act of self awareness about the choice to keep your energy to yourself makes all the difference.
Tip 5: Energy attracts like energy.
If you feel overwhelmed or stressed, you likely think about it a lot.
- If you keep focusing on the drama and the negative in an interaction this will grow and take more space in your thoughts.
- Similarly, the more you expand the feeling of love, appreciation and curiosity towards others (especially the ones that annoy you) the positive in the interaction will grow exponentially.
Applying these five tips can be a profound practice to stop people pleasing, especially at work, but also at home and with friends and other settings where you interact with others.
You will start seeing the difference in yourself and how you perceive others and your work environment.
Simply put, using these five tips can help you to see people in a new light.
1. Set your own boundaries.
2. Self awareness is your truth.
3. You decide when to react.
4. Keep your energy to you.
5. Energy attracts like energy.
How can you better manage stress at work and stop people pleasing?