What No One is Telling You About Feeling Alone. | ulrikasullivan.com

Blog

What No One is Telling You About Feeling Alone.

Do you have a busy schedule but feel alone?

Many people in our modern world are living very busy lives but are feeling alone and not supported.

 

 

Interactions at work and elsewhere are much different compared to 20 yrs ago.  We spend more and more time communicating through electronic media, and spend a lot of time with ourselves which may contribute to this.

 

More and more people are feeling alone.

 

However, some things are exactly the same as back in the day.

The habit of blaming others for not being supportive, not being there for you, or feeling others are being selfish. It’s a human trait to look to blame which is made up by the ego.

It doesn’t matter how our methods of communication have evolved over time, we constantly blame others for our misery.

 

feeling alone

 

When we blame others or external circumstances we feel like a victim. We end up being constantly disappointed in others for not showing up the way we want them to.

Feeling alone and not supported is showing up when we put our expectations on someone else, and we don’t include ourselves as part of the situation.  

We separate ourselves. It’s me and them. You and me. Never us. 

The feeling of not being supported is made up by the ego. The ego prefers to look outside yourself for the answers instead of inside yourself.

 

Feeling alone is on You, not because of others.

 

It’s a hard pill to swallow to realize that it’s not other people that makes you feel a certain way. It’s YOU that make you feel alone, because you allow yourself to feel that way.

 

I’ll admit one of my big challenges in life has been to ask for help. I struggle and struggle and, as a result, I feel alone in trying to solve an issue (within my own limited world view) until it’s too late.

By the time I’m willing to do it, the opportunity to ask for help may be far gone.

 

feeling alone

 

The painful mindset of the “I can do it all” mentality totally shells me in, puts the blinders on, and I feel like “I’m the only one with this issue, so I better solve it myself”. 

As humans we see ourselves as separate from others.

We’re conditioned in our modern society to believe it’s a perceived strength to do it all by ourselves. This perception is especially adopted by women.  

Maybe you are a busy working mom, wife, or business woman with a gazillion responsibilities, or you’re trying to build a business and raise kids at the same time, or leading a team at work with many complexities.

 

Do you recognize yourself?  

 

Whatever you’re doing, you may wait too long to ask for help. You want to give the impression that YOU got it! Or you may be carry the expectation that THEY should be supporting you to succeed. 

When you’re not feeling supported from the inside, by your true self, your expectations on others tend to escalate.  It’s a defence mechanism to point out at what others are not doing right, so that you can feel better about yourself.

 

How is this approach working out for you? If you’re answering “Not so good” you may benefit from a different approach.

 

Being open to self-reflection is the first step to feeling supported.

 

Ask for help earlier. Hiring a coach to support you as you navigate through why you’re feeling alone despite so many activities and friends is worth it.

 

You can discover a different way. You can show up in a different way!

 

The opportunity is that you can step into a feeling of oneness (instead of feeling alone) with others and your environment, where you feel supported from the inside out, irrespective of what others do or don’t do.

 

What does this mean?

 

It means to get into the practice of being curious about yourself and how you approach your interactions with others in this moment, not how you approached it yesterday or how you approached it growing up.

 

It’s about how you approach your life in THIS moment. 

 

When you pay attention to what your beliefs are about a situation first. Tune into what your gut is telling you, before you turn to someone else or a situation to judge or blame.

 

  • You may find out that you’re not taking action in a certain situation, but want to.
  • You may find out that you want to show up in a certain way in a situation, but you are not showing up the way you want.

 

Be curious about what is making you feel alone and see what you can learn from it.

 

The awareness you create in that split second, instead of ignoring it, gives you the power to make a choice.  

Do you want to reference the ego, which likely is going to take you down the same path again and again as ever before, or do you show up differently this time?

 

The power of self awareness has the power to bring you out of your lonely shell into a new comforting feeling of being supported being one with yourself and others from inside out, from the level of your true self. 

You can decide to stay in connection with your true self and access unconditional and unbiased support all the time.

 

feeling alone

 

The secret that we’re not told is that we have all the answers inside us if we just slow down and listen instead of looking for answers outside ourselves. 

The second secret we’re not told is that we can’t pick and choose to listen to the pieces we want to hear.

We can only feel fully supported when we accept that we are not separate from one another.

 

Be your own role model first.

 

Be your own support first. Then others can support you. And you can support others.

So, simply put, if you cut your expectations on others in half, and instead spend that time paying attention and honoring what you truly need, you’ll feel 100% more supported.

In summary,

  • Feeling alone and not supported is showing up when we put our expectations on someone else and doesn’t include ourselves.
  • We can only feel fully supported when we accept that we are not separate from one another.
  • The power of self awareness has the power to bring you out of your lonely shell into a new comforting feeling of being supported.

 

 

How can you feel less alone today?

 

 

feeling alone

 

Related: Feeling Alone With Your Frustrations? 7 Key Benefits of Hiring a Life Coach! 

 

@ulrikasullivan

Follow the adventures.