Want to Stop Struggling? 3 Easy Steps to Create Realistic Action | ulrikasullivan.com

Blog

Want to Stop Struggling? 3 Easy Steps to Create Realistic Action

Have you ever wanted to reach a goal that feels impossible to achieve?

 

You may be in this situation right now. When something feels unreachable we don’t take action and we feel the struggle. What if there was a way to stop struggling?

You may say “I’m productive and I’m working so hard, but I’m tired, overwhelmed and I really want to stop struggling. What do I do?”

 

 

In any project the major part of reaching a goal is that there is an emotional component. A goal is not just the specific number to hit, or the amount of money to make, or the effort needed.

Often, what’s keeping you from reaching those goals are the struggles and resistance you experience inside, not the actual physical goal itself.

Feeling struggle is real, feeling resistance is real. It’s easy to judge the actions we take when we feel resistance and are struggling.

 

The resistance is feeding more resistance when judgement is involved.

 

We often have well worked out strategies to distract ourselves from the feeling of resistance. This avoidance is keeping us from showing up for ourselves and taking the true action that the situation is calling for.

 

stop struggling stay energized all day

 

You may relate to any of the following: over-eating, over-drinking, not-eating, closing off your feelings, etc. You know what your “go-to” is that gives a sense of comfort in the moment and distracts you from the truth.

 

Your resistance can take the expression of opposites, it’s either not-doing or over-doing, both are resistance.

 

As long as you keep distracting yourself you are keeping yourself from moving forward towards the goal you really want to achieve, and most importantly:

 

Distraction is keeping you from your personal growth.

 

One of the biggest realizations of my life was that it was OK to let the foot off the gas pedal and take a step back to let things fall into place when I wanted something to happen.

By letting the foot off the gas pedal (which felt totally uncomfortable) things started to happen immediately and I turned out even more productive.

What happened was that subconsciously I invited the universe to organize the best path to the goal. It may not be the way I had planned, but when I started to trust that the right actions would happen if I followed the feeling of ease. By doing this I started to exceed my goals faster than I ever thought possible.

 

Taking a step back when we feel the most pressure is so counteractive to how we are conditioned to think.

 

We are taught that to be successful we need to plan everything out, we need to be on top of things all the time, we need to take on more and more on our plate, we need to be the “good girl” and never complain.

We are taught as busy women to just keep going. This definition of success comes with feelings of struggle and resistance.

I’m going to turn that definition on its head.

 

Success is a feeling of ease. 

 

So, how can we approach success differently and stop struggling?

How can we ultimately create success through creating realistic, easy-going action?

Think about it, when you’re doing something that comes naturally to you, you are in a feeling of non-resistance. Things just happen and you’re creating and achieving with ease.

Well-being is your natural state. Resistance and struggle is not your natural state and true you. We’ve all had moments of non-resistance and ease that we can travel back to in our mind, but how do we bring it out to today?

 

When we feel ease and flow we are at our best.

 

So, what’s the first step to change from struggle to ease in THIS moment?

 

stop struggling

 

The very first question to ask yourself is:

 

1) How much ease and well-being am I letting in right now?

 

This is a key question. Becoming aware of how we block ourselves from success is the very first thing to examine.

One way of shifting this habit of blocking yourself is to be intentional about your thoughts.

You basically have to train yourself to think differently and align more with your true self. Your true self is experienced in situations when you feel ease and flow. Your ego is experienced when you feel resistance and struggle.


For example, below is a simple example of a very common thought when you’re having a cold:

 

Thought 1: I don’t have time for this. I don’t want to be sick anymore (negative energy)

vs.

Thought 2: I’m going to listen to my body and rest some more. I welcome wellbeing (positive energy)

 

Say both out loud.

How does it feel to say each of them?

 

The feeling that comes up will guide you. The more you can be aware of when negatively charged thoughts come up, like in Thought 1, the better.

To increase your self awareness and shift to more positive energy, like in Thought 2, everyday has the potential to bring you out of feelings of struggle, resistance and to invite more ease and flow into your day.

 

“There is no source of sickness, there is only not letting in wellness.”

-Abraham Hicks

 

2) Keep transforming positive thoughts into positive realistic action.

 

This is key and it requires you to work on this from the inside out and keep doing so.

Stop in the moment and check in with yourself before you are about to take action. You’ll catch yourself in the moment when the feeling of lightness comes over you as you think positive thoughts.

What is a realistic action for you is what feels easygoing, doable, exciting and flows naturally.

The second you are feeling resistance is when you have added on the expectations that causes you to detour from an action that aligns with your intention.

So it’s about catching yourself in the moment to let that  first feeling of ease direct your action. This is the key to stop struggling, to catch yourself and pivot out of the struggle.


For example, if you align with a thought of negative charge, it’s likely you’ll take negative action (over-eating, over-….., or not …..)

If you align with the positive charged thought, you’ll likely take positive realistic action in that moment and you will feel the ease.

Something to be aware of is that often our own expectations are enough to throw us into resistance, but when we decide to align with other people’s expectations as well, the resistance escalates even more.

 

3) Stay in an energy of positive expectation as you welcome what’s to come next.

 

We create our own reality, we have the power to co-create! When we have a desire, it is realized by you. Your desire has an energetic charge that is picked up by the universe.

When you stay in this feeling of positive expectation you automatically show up for any new experience with an energy of positive expectation. This way you don’t invite the feelings of struggle to the table.

 

stop struggling

 

Prioritize how YOU want to feel first. Resistance will take a back seat if you visualize situations on how you want to feel.

When you align with realistic actions, things will start happen for you. Your positive energy is creating infinite possibilities to get there.

The key is to remind yourself of your intention daily, and from there create small steps that feel easy to follow through on, instead of focusing on the huge goal only.

Tip!

Set your timer for 20 minutes and complete something that will bring you ONE little step closer to where you want to be. That’s a million times better than keep struggling and doing nothing.

One more example of how you can shift a negatively charged thought to a positive one to get started:

 

Thought 1: I’m so behind, make it happen quick!! (negative energy)

vs.

Thought 2: I’m powerful, things happen right when they need to be! (positive energy)

 

Which one feels the best? You are on your way to stop struggling!

 

 

When we replace the feeling of struggle with the feeling of ease, and stay in that feeling of ease, you are instantly creating realistic actions for yourself as a result.

 

If you want to stop struggling and instead create realistic actions, do this:

1) Check yourself: How much ease and wellbeing are you letting in right now?

2) Keep transforming positive thoughts into realistic action.

3) Stay in an energy of positive expectation as you welcome what’s to come next.

 

 

Related:

Crazy busy? Feeling drained? How to increase energy in your daily life.

Goal Setting Tips. Step by Step Guide to Dream Your Life Balance.

@ulrikasullivan

Follow the adventures.