Are you feeling stuck and not really inspired about life even though you are crazy busy with many responsibilities?
What you are telling yourself matters! Your inner critic may need a new job.
Most of us are not even aware of what our inner voice is telling us every day. It’s like a favorite radio station constantly on in the background that keeps the chatter going all day while you do other things at work and at home.
It’s time to pay attention and start listening to what your inner critic REALLY is telling you, because that inner voice may be the reason that you are feeling unfulfilled, stressed out and stuck, the reason why you are not taking the action the way you want to.
The feeling of “not being good enough” is keeping us on the safe side, and we wait…and wait..and we beat ourselves up.
Thinking “I can’t do that because…” stops us from taking the risk and moving on the opportunity, it makes it easy to keep looking for shortcomings and weaknesses in ourselves and others.
For many years I very quickly came to the conclusion that because I’m a detail oriented scientist and border introvert I wouldn’t be a good writer or public speaker who could inspire others.
I didn’t think I would have anything to say that someone would find inspiring. My inner critic had full ownership of my thoughts so I didn’t take action.
Our human tendency is to find a reason to keep focus on the negative. This particular mindset worked well in ancient times when we instinctively had to react this way to survive. Not so much needed in our modern society where survival is related to being away from our social media or not.
Are you tired of hearing others complaining, always focusing on the negative, being judgmental at work or amongst friends? It’s very likely their inner critic is also owning their mind space.
In fact, most people do not observe their own thoughts or even how they sound when words come out of their mouth. The human wiring from past evolution is still present ruling our minds.
I will teach you right now how to start listen to your own inner critic and give it a new job as a completely supportive voice. You can help others do the same.
Everyone has an inner critic, it’s hard to admit and it’s hard to start to really listen to what the inner critic is talking about. It took me a while to even allow myself to really truly listen to what I was telling myself in certain situations. It took time to become aware. With awareness came change.
It wasn’t pretty and I felt shame and guilt for having thoughts that weren’t supportive of myself. I have to admit that I also found out that my inner critic judged others as much as I judge myself.
Take a minute right now to identify one occasion today you have told yourself “I can’t do…… because……”.
Identify what was the specific situation for you? Make a mind note (no judgement) and continue to read.
Our conditioning received through growing up and living life so far has established our habits, belief systems and our values. All of what we bring with us into adulthood we do without questioning.
Judging others is a way to for us to protect ourselves from feeling vulnerable in current situations today that are reminding us of situations where we once felt exposed .
Your inner critic is keeping you stuck to this day, if we don’t give it a new job.
Every negative story can be turned around, and it starts with you. As my mentor Gabby Bernstein is teaching us in her book “Judgement Detox: Release the beliefs that hold you back form living a better life” the first step to release self-judgement is to:
“ Witness your judgement without judgement” – Gabby Bernstein
The good news here is that the more we allow ourselves to observe our inner critic, write it down, take it in and decide if we want to keep it or not, the greater is the opportunity for growth and movement towards non-judgement and action.
The bonus is awareness, which in turn creates the opportunity for more growth. The result is feeling lighter, more joyful and more fulfilled as past conditioning is unloaded not driving your thought pattern any longer.
Ready to give your inner critic a new job?
Below are my 4 steps towards giving your inner critic a new job that can take you to new heights, as you feel less stuck, more present, connected to your true self and more inspired to take action.
1. Become aware of your inner critic’s message
- Slow down, listen, use your feelings as a guide to enter the world of your thoughts. Catch yourself when the inner critic shows up. What is the situation? What do you REALLY tell yourself ?
- Become aware through 10 minutes of meditation followed by free-writing.
- Write down what comes up.
- What are you telling yourself that is not supportive?
- This is not easy so be patient with yourself.
- Do the same exercise for 3 days and see what comes up.
2. Understand your inner critic’s old job
- Our natural instinctive wiring is to keep ourselves safe (and stuck). Everyone has their own story of how we have protected ourselves through events in our lives and how we judge others to keep ourselves away of feeling inadequate.
- Reflect on where and when the feeling of inadequacy came from?
- What purpose has your inner critic has had up until today?
3. Embrace your inner critic
- When we give our inner critic the credit for serving us so far we can allow ourselves to let the past experience of judging ourselves go.
- THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!
- Thank and honor your inner critic for what its function has been up until today.
- Say out loud ” Thank you for the job you have done so far, I don’t need you anymore”
4. Choose a new job for your inner critic to become your best supporter
- The power of choice is available to us at any time and in any are of our life, including our thoughts.
- Chose another message that you will tell yourself.
- Write down what the new message is. It could be more than one message.
- (for example ” I AM good enough and I am going to……”)
- Write down what purpose this new inner voice or message will have to support your goals.
- Say your new message out loud 5 times and smile. 😉
Is your inner critic always keeping yourself on the safe side by saying “I’m not good enough? How about shaking things up this week? What are you going to tell yourself instead?